June 2012

The Pet Shop Wars

Our fun chronicles between PetCo and PetSmart

Have you ever gone to PetSmart, and then to PetCo, just to see what kinds of varying prices, information and general practices the two keep? It sounds like something really nerdy people do. Maybe it is. Or maybe it’s just something broke people like me do for fun in town and our kids want to see some animals!

If you do decide to waste a perfectly good afternoon doing just this, you are in for a treat. Did you know that PetCo and PetSmart employees openly bash one another? I am totally serious. Tell a PetSmart employee that PetCo tested your water and found it “too stressed” for fish and they’ll flip out on you. “What does that even mean?” a cute guy told us, happy to sell us fish to put in our “stressed” water. They did not die, by the way.

Hysterical woman in the woods?

Obviously, it's just an owl...

When it comes to creepy sounds, I think I am a bit of an expert—not because I can identify any animal sound I hear, but because I hear scary noises all. Of. The. Time. Whether it’s unidentified voices, shrieking, furniture moving, scuffling in the attic (or basement), or something deep in the woods longing to crunch my bones, I’ve heard it. I can’t guarantee if any of these sounds are real or if they were heard during my frequent bouts of sleeplessness, but I do hear them.

So a few weeks ago when I heard the strange woman shrieking in the woods over and over again—a few nights in a row, I might add—I just chalked it up to either A. my tired and overactive mind again or B. one of the many creepy things that linger around in the world, like zombies and banshees and so forth. But when my husband, home from work that night and up with me, commented that he’d heard something weird in the woods, my eyes went wide. It was something real!